You obviously havent been reading the news about this topic. Young people right now are finding it really hard to connect with other people, the concept of hobby groups, clubs etc has totally disappeared for the younger generation and without children to facilitate the meeting of other parents there isnt any built in way to meet a social group. Im not even new to my area but I dont have any local social connections and have tried everything I can think of.
I do think this is much harder as you get older. However, I would like to share my story. I was painfully shy as a child and young adult, so much so that I avoided things because it was too hard. However, I moved with my husband and two daughters (of school age) to AUSTRALIA. Woo that was a huge step for me completely out of my not so comfortable zone. But you know what it was the turning point for me, why you ask, well we got to Australia and we barely set down and hubby had to work near Sydney as his first job, some 3hours away. My daughters needed to be enrolled into school, yep I did it, then I needed to get a house (we were in a caravan to start with) power on, telephone on etc. I did it. It was truly my turning point and as a 30year old too. The rest is history. So if I can do it Im sure there are many others who can too, you just have to try, one step at a time.
Social online networking has taken over face to face methinks
People are different, some find it easy to integrate and some dont. An interest in sport is sometimes not an ice breaker as some sports groups can be quite clickie. As a previous reader said, different generation. Before online social groups there were more clubs and interest groups to go to on weekends and evenings. Clubs like Lions and Rotary are dying because there is a lack of new younger members. However they are great community organisations to get involved in, and love to see younger people join. I once lived in a small town, I worked from home, and after 5 years did not know anyone except my neighbours. But I was not lonely.
Meetups.com is another great site to find groups of people with similar interests or to try something you have always wanted to. I moved to Akl 3.5 years ago and thats where I made all my friends. Theres everything from walking groups to dinner clubs to Singles groups....and everything in-between!
Stop saying it is social media related commenters. I first moved cities well before Facebook etc. It was hard to crack new places then and it still is now. Especially if you dont have kids. Everyone talks about mums being isolated but by the time all your friends have kids, not having them is also very lonely (not saying either is moreso). The problem is actually finding people that want more friends, especially if they have no connection (i.e. Friend of a friend). Saying âgo out and explore the nightlifeâ is the oddest one - thats not going to make you friends!!
How did you meet your husband? you must have some social connection and ability to overcome shyness to have done that?
There are a lot of shoulds in your article. Just because a few psychologists including Nigel LAtta are always telling us that we have to be connecting to be ok doesnt mean that its not ok to be alone.
@karlajane - it has, and its not very helpful for making real connections. I dont think people have much luck converting online acquaintances into real life friends. I dont have a facebook account as I found it really fake (quit 2012) and I prefer not to let strangers follow my personal Instagram account because who knows who they are?
Ive been in Nelson for 3 years and havnt really made any new friends. I have 2 kids and Im 26. I find girls my age so far the ones I have met too much drama and gossiping just not into that anymore.my health isnt the greatest though so I do like my alone time and I have 2 best friends here that Ive known all my life. Would like to meet a few new people and have some more good friends. Good friends are hard to find anywhere
It made it harder for me in a new town when government scrapped adult education evening classes. I always found them a good way to meet people with similar interests.
This is such an unhelpful attitude and its really out of touch. Most young people are aware that online social media is not helpful for making real friendships but its so all-consuming now that there are no longer the opportunities to make new social connections face to face. If you get out and experience life these days as a young person you will find you dont meet any one else out there when you do. I tried taking adult education classes, volunteer work etc and only ever met people decades older than me when doing so.
Recent move to smaller town has been best move ever! Had to make an effort to start with by going along to everything I could spare the time for - eventually sorted out where I fitted in. Also started an arrangement with two other single newly met friends - turnabout, one cooks for the other two once a week - which we are all enjoying - very social and we get a good meal!
Couldnt agree more arrow! I have recently moved from a larger town to a very small one. Have to make an effort - in 3 weeks, have already joined local Club, met neighbours, found a great hairdresser etc etc. But in saying that, I actually LIKE my own company (no hubby, now passed sadly, and no kids). I rarely feel lonely. And Im retired but loving my life!
loneliness at any age happens. Old people in retirement villages may get a visit from the grandkids if they live close.
Thats pretty much why Meetup was invented. I have old friends, but even I use Meetup to go out with other people for dinner or events that my existing friends arent interested in or cant afford.
This is such an unhelpful attitude and its really out of touch now. Community groups, book clubs, hobby groups etc are now only populated by older people. It is not the way of the younger generation for better or worse. I tried attending adult education classes, volunteer work etc and only ever met people decades older than me.
As a very non-sporty person I would only feel more isolated at a sports club and wouldnt meet like minded people. Im also not a drinker or into the partying scene, much more into quiet nights at home. Im not an introvert however but i just dont have any of the usual social interests like sports as you suggested. I was recently trying to find if there were any pub quizzes in my area but details are scarce and you have to put your own team together so Im back at square one! I could be in a much worse position of course, but it does frustrate me when people dont see how much more difficult meeting new people is now that our culture has changed away from smaller, community based networks toward online global acquaintances.
Let me quote EpictetusTheres ya problem!
I admit I was a bit harsh there. I apologise. Have you tried sports clubs or just sampled the nightlife?
You obviously havent been reading the news about this topic. Young people right now are finding it really hard to connect with other people, the concept of hobby groups, clubs etc has totally disappeared for the younger generation and without children to facilitate the meeting of other parents there isnt any built in way to meet a social group. Im not even new to my area but I dont have any local social connections and have tried everything I can think of.
I do think this is much harder as you get older. However, I would like to share my story. I was painfully shy as a child and young adult, so much so that I avoided things because it was too hard. However, I moved with my husband and two daughters (of school age) to AUSTRALIA. Woo that was a huge step for me completely out of my not so comfortable zone. But you know what it was the turning point for me, why you ask, well we got to Australia and we barely set down and hubby had to work near Sydney as his first job, some 3hours away. My daughters needed to be enrolled into school, yep I did it, then I needed to get a house (we were in a caravan to start with) power on, telephone on etc. I did it. It was truly my turning point and as a 30year old too. The rest is history. So if I can do it Im sure there are many others who can too, you just have to try, one step at a time.
Social online networking has taken over face to face methinks
People are different, some find it easy to integrate and some dont. An interest in sport is sometimes not an ice breaker as some sports groups can be quite clickie. As a previous reader said, different generation. Before online social groups there were more clubs and interest groups to go to on weekends and evenings. Clubs like Lions and Rotary are dying because there is a lack of new younger members. However they are great community organisations to get involved in, and love to see younger people join. I once lived in a small town, I worked from home, and after 5 years did not know anyone except my neighbours. But I was not lonely.
Meetups.com is another great site to find groups of people with similar interests or to try something you have always wanted to. I moved to Akl 3.5 years ago and thats where I made all my friends. Theres everything from walking groups to dinner clubs to Singles groups....and everything in-between!
Stop saying it is social media related commenters. I first moved cities well before Facebook etc. It was hard to crack new places then and it still is now. Especially if you dont have kids. Everyone talks about mums being isolated but by the time all your friends have kids, not having them is also very lonely (not saying either is moreso). The problem is actually finding people that want more friends, especially if they have no connection (i.e. Friend of a friend). Saying âgo out and explore the nightlifeâ is the oddest one - thats not going to make you friends!!
How did you meet your husband? you must have some social connection and ability to overcome shyness to have done that?
There are a lot of shoulds in your article. Just because a few psychologists including Nigel LAtta are always telling us that we have to be connecting to be ok doesnt mean that its not ok to be alone.
@karlajane - it has, and its not very helpful for making real connections. I dont think people have much luck converting online acquaintances into real life friends. I dont have a facebook account as I found it really fake (quit 2012) and I prefer not to let strangers follow my personal Instagram account because who knows who they are?
Ive been in Nelson for 3 years and havnt really made any new friends. I have 2 kids and Im 26. I find girls my age so far the ones I have met too much drama and gossiping just not into that anymore.my health isnt the greatest though so I do like my alone time and I have 2 best friends here that Ive known all my life. Would like to meet a few new people and have some more good friends. Good friends are hard to find anywhere
It made it harder for me in a new town when government scrapped adult education evening classes. I always found them a good way to meet people with similar interests.
This is such an unhelpful attitude and its really out of touch. Most young people are aware that online social media is not helpful for making real friendships but its so all-consuming now that there are no longer the opportunities to make new social connections face to face. If you get out and experience life these days as a young person you will find you dont meet any one else out there when you do. I tried taking adult education classes, volunteer work etc and only ever met people decades older than me when doing so.
Recent move to smaller town has been best move ever! Had to make an effort to start with by going along to everything I could spare the time for - eventually sorted out where I fitted in. Also started an arrangement with two other single newly met friends - turnabout, one cooks for the other two once a week - which we are all enjoying - very social and we get a good meal!
Couldnt agree more arrow! I have recently moved from a larger town to a very small one. Have to make an effort - in 3 weeks, have already joined local Club, met neighbours, found a great hairdresser etc etc. But in saying that, I actually LIKE my own company (no hubby, now passed sadly, and no kids). I rarely feel lonely. And Im retired but loving my life!
loneliness at any age happens. Old people in retirement villages may get a visit from the grandkids if they live close.
Thats pretty much why Meetup was invented. I have old friends, but even I use Meetup to go out with other people for dinner or events that my existing friends arent interested in or cant afford.
This is such an unhelpful attitude and its really out of touch now. Community groups, book clubs, hobby groups etc are now only populated by older people. It is not the way of the younger generation for better or worse. I tried attending adult education classes, volunteer work etc and only ever met people decades older than me.
As a very non-sporty person I would only feel more isolated at a sports club and wouldnt meet like minded people. Im also not a drinker or into the partying scene, much more into quiet nights at home. Im not an introvert however but i just dont have any of the usual social interests like sports as you suggested. I was recently trying to find if there were any pub quizzes in my area but details are scarce and you have to put your own team together so Im back at square one! I could be in a much worse position of course, but it does frustrate me when people dont see how much more difficult meeting new people is now that our culture has changed away from smaller, community based networks toward online global acquaintances.
Let me quote EpictetusTheres ya problem!
I admit I was a bit harsh there. I apologise. Have you tried sports clubs or just sampled the nightlife?